Moderately Impressive Witticisms

Occasionally, I have brief moments of inspiration and come up with some original lines that I like to remember. Some of you may not care about when I'm funny, some of you won't think I'm funny at all, and others are just, well, mentally unavailable. But this is my blog, so here we go. Not completely PG, so be warned....


On deceiving appearances: Mister Rogers taught me a whole different level of make believe. Ok, maybe that wasn't the image I really wanted to paint.

On a pale, mimicking friend: You're like a parrot without all of the pretty feathers. Just the skin underneath the feathers, except less opaque.

On time traveling to the 50's: Bring lots of birth control pills and you'd be a god. Here, sweetie, it's candy, try it.

On raising children: Why not walk her on the the line of caution and knowledge. Wow. That's utopian.

On not being baptised: I figure that on my deathbed, I'll get baptised and I'm money. My original sin is just going to be a really long tab.

On Ritalyn focus: I feel like I'm metaphorically picking at things like a meth addict with hives.


Alright, I've gotta run back to my work so I can have a little time to watch the V.P. debates. Until another brief break.