Thursday, October 28, 2004

The Name's Bond, Johnny5 Bond (Part III)

Here's where things get a little weird.

I felt like I actually left my body. Having an "out of body experience" is always an eye rolling statement because it sounds like a farce, but I swore at the time and since then that it actually did happen. I just remember sort of watching the roof of the car in a decidely removed vantage point where I didn't really note what was happening, but I was content.

Not knowing what actually happened at the time, I can only recount from later recordings what really happened. We slipped at the crest of a small hill on wet leaves, losing the rear tire traction and rotating my side first across the double yellow line. My side went through a windy road yellow sign, 20-30 feet of a stone wall. The trunk rammed into a telephone poll, and then we rotated back into the road, finally coming to rest facing the right way on the right side of the line. It was like some giant had just come in and clubbed the hell out of the car, and moved it ahead 200 feet.

At this point, I came rushing back to awareness in the car. Being an Audi, the side curtain and passenger airbags had all blown, which was definitely a good thing to supplement my seatbelt. However, the lights inside of the car were on, and there was airbag smoke everywhere. I was panicked because some part of me registered two things: first, the engine might be on fire, and secondly, I couldn't breathe.

I thought maybe initially it was the smoke until realizing GD was speaking to me and I was struggling for each breathe.

Oh God, why can't I breathe?

Ramping up to full out panic rapidly, I tried to undo the seatbelt. It wasn't working, so in a rush of adrenaline, I ripped it open. No latch, I used force and ripped the damn thing apart. I'm no hero, and I'm not a body builder, but adrenaline can make you pretty impressive by any standard. I'm still struggling for air, trying to open the car door. Later I found out that the sign and the stone wall had crushed it in pretty good, so it was quite stuck. Still feeding on that adrenaline, however, I shouldered into the door and got it open.

"J5, what's wrong, WHAT'S WRONG??"

"I.... can't.... breathe.... Can't... catch... my...breath...."

My lungs are wheezing and it feels like I'm trying to inhale napalm. I'm still in full anxiety, and I'm just barely trying to find a place to alight. Not really having a true memory of what happened still, it seems that I went behind the car to meet GD in our conversation, and fell to my knees there.

Breathe, J5. Come on man, control your body, use your mind. Breathe. Breathe. Breeeeaaaaatthhhhhe.

The biological cork popped, and the oxygen started to race back in. Finally. Relief. I was pleased and relieved, finally, it was over.

I was wrong.


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