"Love" Poems

I found these in my AIM away message folder. I had totally forgotten about them, and I think they're pretty funny. The wonder of cynicism!

These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way

My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

Source: Unknown.